2009 is over and the bright possibilities of 2010 are gleaming on the horizon. No sarcasm here folks. We are really excited for the new year and all of the possibilities that it has brought. We are looking forward to some outstanding business opportunities and hope that you are as well. Here is a little cheeky humor to help start this new year with a smile. As seen on Marketing Profs: After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. == P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. == P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. == P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. == P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. == P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. == P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. == P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. == P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. == P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. == P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. == P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. == P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. == P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. == And the best one for last … P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from midget

Categories: Fun